Stories of Resilience: I Didn’t Stay Together for My Kids...I Got a Divorce for Them

 

My husband and I were doing life, busy with kids and activities, plodding along.  I knew our relationship was not a good role model for our kids.  We were living separate lives under the same roof.  He spent his evenings in the garage, and I spent evenings inside with the kids.  Alcohol was a third party in our marriage.  We were cordial to each other, at least in front of them, but never shared any loving words or actions.

 

What I did know, was that I wanted to be a role model for my kids.  I wanted them to see that I was strong enough to get out of a failing marriage.  I was done showing them what a mediocre relationship looked like.  I decided the time was NOW.

 

I didn’t stay together for my kids, I got a divorce for my kids.

 

I showed them I could navigate the ups and downs of the divorce process.  I showed them I could communicate well with their dad when needed.  I showed them I could stay in our family home, managing the finances by getting a second job, and after three years single, I showed them I was brave enough to tackle the dating scene.  

 

Now, seven years post divorce, I’m engaged to be married.  My partner IS the role model I always hoped my kids would have.  He treats me how I should have been treated all along. I am proud to be able to provide this example for my kids, prior to them choosing their life partner.  They need to witness what a loving relationship and marriage should be.

 

I didn’t stay together for my kids, I got a divorce for my kids.

 

Karol H.